Monday, December 28, 2009

White Christmas

We had a white Christmas this year!

It has been snowy for a few weeks but I’ve not had much luck with snow. There was a leak in one room in the house the other day, a drip coming from the ceiling. The snow was melting but the drain was blocked with ice and the water was leaking into the house. So I had to get the ladder and go out into the cold and scrape away all the ice and snow from the gutter. The only problem was that the ladder was too small for me to get to the right height to get at the gutter. So I was required to balance precariously at the top of the ladder to scrape at the snow and ice. After only a little success I climbed down, my brother gave it a shot with a bigger ladder, a wooden spoon and a soup ladle. The wooden spoon and soup ladle seemed to work, leastways the leak cleared up so we didn’t complain about the choice of tools and we managed to stop him before he put them back in the utensil drawer... so that's a bonus.

That among other things is what has made snow misfortunate, including newspaper delivering incidents. *Sigh* (Long term readers might know that newspaper delivering incidents are traumatic :P)

I know that in some places there is a lot more snow and some places none at all! So, did you enjoy a white Christmas this year or indeed a scorching hot one for some you? :)

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Eighteen plus how many years?

Ok, we all like eating out every now and again. Recently though I have discovered a problem.

Well, the first time it happened and I’m in a restaurant and I have a foreign waiter. Firstly we order the drinks. Me, I go for Ginger beer (Which is usually non-alcoholic.) Then the foreign waiter comes back asks “Is this suitable sir?” as he is holding an Alcoholic Ginger Beer, 5.5% alcohol. I turn it down because I’m with my mom and tell him I’m not old enough to buy alcohol. So, he comes back and gives me a children’s menu. I’m thinking I haven’t been given one of these since I was five years old and so I’m left wondering where this guy comes from and asking myself…how old you need to be to buy alcohol in that country!?

So, after having recovered from the embarrassment of being given a children’s menu we go back to this restaurant. I ask for the Ginger Beer. The waiter brings the Alcoholic stuff.

Asks if I want it…

I respond…

“I’m really tempted but a few years ago I used to be a bit of an alcoholic. SOoo… I’ll have to decline.”

I realize this one isn’t a foreign waiter and I watch as he walks away doing the math in his head… Probably wondering “Eighteen plus… how many years?”

Well, one thing is for sure, I didn’t get no children’s menu that time!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The problem with being tall : Head banging - Banging of ones head.

You don’t need to like heavy Rock’ n Roll to be a “head banger”. In fact I’m a head banger. In fact I bang my head far too much! I’d say that is the worst thing about being tall. (I’m 6 ft 2)
Public transport’s worst for it; low ceilings or low shelves above where you sit so that every time you stand up you –

A - Bang you head which usually hurts.
Followed by
B – You look like a big lanky twat
Followed by
C – You swear loudly and the mother with kids behind you get Pis***

the OAPs behind you get Pis***
the small people behind you get Pis***

Earlier this week I stayed at a youth hostel for a couple of nights, much to my dismay they gave us a room aptly named “The Hobbit Room”. Its door (with the hobbit style round finish) was low enough for me to give the top of the door frame a high five with my head. Funnily enough the room had one bed which was raised a few feet off the ground and would require a hobbit to find a stepladder. (See “The Lord of the Rings” or “The Hobbit” for reference (Reference to hobbits not stepladders)).

Quite recently I read that when you are over 6ft 2 you start to get back problems. So here I am hoping I don’t grow an inch further because otherwise I’ll get back problems and brain damage… I’d clip my head off every single door.

I’m happy with this post. Thank-you for reading/ Skipping everything except the last sentence (I do that with dull posts sometimes… not that my post is dull ;)

Feedback? I liked this post. Did you?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

To busy for blogging - Not really, Poker took over.

I’ve not written a post in ages… like ten days!

Now, maybe it’s just me but I for one get fed up of long winded explanations as to why there was no posts for so long… *Hate them… *Just hate them…

Here is mine in case (for some strange reason) you are interested-

Well, that’s the thing right, I could say I spent the whole week at school and the rest of the time practising 3D pinball so I could beat my dad (Long story) but it wouldn’t be true... but I do have an interesting spin to the story, there was a whole week at school and for the rest of the time, I was addicted to online poker.

Yep, I gamble and I’m fifteen years old… *Shocking isn’t it?* Well, don’t worry. It is only on Facebook but it is strangely addictive. I made lots of “Money” throughout the week but then managed to lose 90% of it in 30 seconds. The following 20% in the following 35 seconds…

Anyway, I’m back now which is the main thing albeit I'm typing a lot slower since I sold my right arm to pay off my new debts… (Don’t let this stop you playing free family freindly poker on Facebook)

That is not my excuse for saying from now on I will only be posting two or three times a week. That is the case though, two or three time a week. (I sense two). You'll be glad to know it’s pure laziness.

Anyway, I’ll brainstorm some new ideas and be back in a couple of days. (I hope)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A swearing chef burns Fairy cakes... *Shocker*

A general statement – “All Chefs swear”

I worked for a week in a kitchen, the guy I was working with was a nice guy. He was a chef. “All Chefs swear”. This guy swore, a lot.

It wasn’t quite Gordon Ramsay style, it was a kind of “When you make a mistake you swear” kind of swearing. For example he swore when he burnt his batch of fairy cakes. (I’d like to point out I saved my batch ;) It was the kind of swearing that was almost… how to say it… necessary. I mean, that was a good batch of fairy cakes!

Monday, September 28, 2009

1000 views... Any excuse for a party?

Sorry guys, I'm not old enough to buy the alcohol.

Thanks for your support, through reading and commenting! As i've said before I love all my readers. (But those who comment I love more)

Imagine, if I had had google adwords from the start I may have made twenty pence already. *Gasp* I'm well on my way to online phenonemon status. :P

Thanks again and have fun getting drunk well into the night without me :)

I'd like to take this oppurtunity to highlight some of my older posts which you may not have read.

Diary of a semi retired paperboy

Long way or not even long enough to warrant a search for your iPod

My Midnight wander, Stars and constellations (or lack there of)

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Glasgow! Bean cans! and a couple of LPs!

I was in Glasgow yesterday, not up to much…

I was supposed to be buying someone a present as well… instead I managed to buy them nothing and buy myself five CDs and two LPs. I got every single thing under £6 each… *Bargain* Ye, I’m hopeless with money, if it is in my pocket then it “burns a hole”, so I need to spend it quickly.

The Kinks – Singles collection
The Who – Then and now (Including the song “Pinball wizard” which bears some relevance)
Bob Dylan – The collection
Bryan Adams – Anthology
Jimi Hendrix –Experience Hendrix

Eric Clapton
Bryan Adams

I’ve found I’ve always wanted a Vinyl record. Don’t know why, but I have a record player so why not? Tonight I’ll try those two LPs tonight and have a hunt through my Dads old records. Old school ;)

It was funny, I was at my Grandmothers house on the way back from Glasgow, for some reason my Grandad (or Papa as we call him… Glaswegian) was saying how I need to build some muscle, he was saying I need to go home and get the bean cans and start doing bicep curls with them. He was like-

“Look, I’ll show you”

He tensed to reveal muscular arms. He told me how he had been using the bean cans every day (no doubt for the last 60 odd years of his life!). He now expects me to be stronger next time I see him now that he has given me his expert advice… (It certainly worked for him!)

It is time to hit the Bean Cans!

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Be it Talk like a pirate day?

It was, on the 19th September (Every year) “International Talk like a pirate day”. That was just last Saturday, anyone reading this involved in “Talk like a pirate day”?

Unfortunately I forgot about it on the day so I wasn’t speaking like a pirate and I didn’t see an single pirate either! *Not even a single eyepatch*

Although, after browsing the net a little bit I found that tomorrow is
National Comic book day! So, I’ll dig out the Spiderman pyjamas I owned when I was five and I’ll attempt to squeeze into them… and fail no doubt...

Those pyjamas made me feel

Monday, September 21, 2009

Kitchen work, work experience and Fairy cakes.

*Phew*, hard week over.

I’ve been gaining my “work experience” for this last week. Basically it’s where we get a week off school (What could be better?) to go and work for a company. You get a “certain degree of choice” into what you work as, that is if you get to pick near the beginning. I was quite near the end and ended up with a job, which quite frankly, wasn’t the best one there. I was a Kitchen assistant for a week. Not bad I suppose and I will say that in the end I did actually quite enjoy it.

I didn’t get that much experience of talking to old people staying at the home but there was one particular table at lunch time which had very friendly occupants. They kept, kept bringing up my height… basically making lots of tall jokes about me. ( I’m about 6’2)

“I think we need a stepladder to talk to you.”

“Six foot or seven foot?”

Me - “How are you?”
Friendly old man - “Fine, except I’m getting a sore neck looking up at you”

This next one isn’t a joke but it certainly made me laugh,

“He is going to go home and tell his friends how bad it is here because he is getting cheesed off by all the tall jokes. Are you getting cheesed off?”

…Cheesed off?...

These were the nicest old people you could hope to meet!

During the week I cried twice (Spanish onions!). I was also verbally abused by an old women (Some old folks weren’t very nice). I chopped carrots, leeks, 'taters and all sorts. I swept, wept...(Haha guys!) and ate. So ye, if you ever need to your Carrots sliced or instant mashed… well… mashed… give me a ring :)

The “Head chef” (One of two chefs, me being the second) said he would be impressed if I didn’t cut myself (I did a lot of chopping, dicing, slicing and peeling). I had some close shaves but didn’t draw blood... Seriously… the knife might slip *MajorWoopsie* (I wouldn’t say that if I lost a finger by the way) and it would be a very close shave. When I say shave I mean that close to my fingers. Close enough to “shave” them. Every time I slipped the knife I found myself counting my fingers. (Counting even more so than I do in my average maths lesson).

I didn’t cut myself but I did receive one injury. Now don’t laugh, I burnt myself… I was supposed to tell you that I got it saving someone from a blaze but I’ll tell you the truth readers, it was in fact as I tried to rescue… here it comes… the fairy cakes from the oven! Not the manliest way to hurt oneself, don’t worry though, I took it like a man… I went for the classic chefs swear word routine… It was Gordon Ramsay style. (Or maybe not quite… in fact not at all.)

*I'll be back!* Tommorow I hope :)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Aerial strike

There has been an Aerial strike on my street.

Before you ask no, our houses haven't been bombed by Aeroplanes.

Although "Rebels" have passed through the area. Yes, the idiots that have nothing better to do with their lifes, so... they go along our street unscrewing Aerials from car rooftops.

If I'm in the car with my parents now I cannot listen to the radio, instead I'm stuck with a bunch of random CDs.

Damn. That is a major nuisance. Major.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

A nice old lady, lots of melon and some kind of strange incurable melon addiction!

I remember one particularly vivid childhood memory, (when I said childhood I meant like four years ago). It involved a nice old lady, Sunday lunch and a lot of melon. Now I was staying at my Moms-Moms house, so my Grandmas house and one of my Grandmas friends had invited me and my mom to Sunday lunch. Of course we obliged and in the most part the meal was fine and not particularly memorable now at all.

We finished the meal and then she came through with a bowl full of pieces of melon… Now I do not like melon but there was only a manageable amount on my plate so I obliged, I mean... one can’t reject food from a nice old lady, especially when she prepares it specially. Seemingly I kept turning around and every time I did so, she popped an extra piece of melon on my plate or at least that’s how it seemed to work out.
“Your just like my grandson Nick, he simply loves melon.” She exclaimed,

I’m just like,

“Oh, Goodness no! You’ve got me all wrong nice old lady!”

Of course I didn’t say that, I mean... one can’t say such things to a nice old lady.

I finish the melon pieces,

“Don’t worry there is plenty more from melons where that came, let me just prepare some more.” She reassures me.

Of course when a nice old lady offers you extras one has to oblige but that is a unspoken rule I’ve never heard of, unfortunately so much melon had already got into my blood stream I couldn’t be saved, melons have haunted my nightmares for my life thus far and no doubt will until I realize how good they taste with Sugar Puffs (That’s a different story guys, don’t sweat it.).

Anyway, this old lady is very nice, she is a very nice old lady unfortunately she thinks I have some kind of strange incurable melon addiction.

Monday, September 7, 2009

Search me on google with a bunch of completely random keywords.

Recently I have started getting very, very small amounts of traffic through search engines. Which I suppose is pretty exciting because it brings more people to entertain! (I get more readers *I love you all, those who comment i love more*!)

Anyway, if that was the focus of this post it would suck but… I am going to share keywords that people have actually searched (and found me with) and even wackier ones that you could potentially find me with.

Ok, so according to Google analytics I have had 14 hits via Google. Admittedly, four out of the eleven hits where actually me searching myself with a keyword that no one else will ever use… (Unless I become an online phenomenon. *Cross your fingers everybody!*)

That keyword was Colinbloginit and if you google it, you getting 39 results entirely about me! (I'm a online phenomenon :O *Not quite)

Other keywords that have actually been used to find me include-

“voi jeans” “post a comment”


Inhumane mouse trap

Nothing to lose movie cars

Nothing to lose movie security guard

Nothing to lose security guard scene

Song from security guard scene nothing to lose

I should have warned you they were random… But what you could find me with is even worse!

For example-

If you ever search “82800 seconds in minutes” you will find me, who the heck searches that!


“star constellations” according to webmaster tools I come 17th if you search that, if I did I would be impressed but I cannot find myself!

If you type in “Diary of a semi-retired paperboy” I am very near the top but c’mon, I don’t suppose there are many “semi-retired paperboys” out there, let alone ones that write a blog about it.

Only today someone found me by searching, “how long before you take a break on a computer”, this person obviously spends 25 hours a day on the computer and was wondering if he had broken some kind of world record.

(He certainly has!)

A potential search which I am actually surprised about is the words “Nothing to lose movie”, where I am ranked on the second page of a google! Now this is a famous movie, starring Tim Robbins and Mark Lawrence, although I’m surprised to say I haven’t got any hits from that exact phrase.

My favourite potential search is “The sugar puff incident” It is the kind of thing that nobody would ever… ever search! Although if you ever forget my URL it will come in handy, just Google “The sugar puff incident” and you will find me in second and third place. An extremely minor achievement indeed! *Any excuse for a party though ;)*

Any interesting keywords from your blog?

Saturday, September 5, 2009

The problem with siblings: They steal particularly “cool” items of my clothing

My clothes seem to go missing a lot and I have came to the conclusion that my brothers are behind it (Every thing bad happens because of them!). Shorts, T-Shirts, tops, socks everything goes missing. My brother just came back from America, since then he has borrowed a pair of Basketball shorts, went out for a run in them then came back and put them back on my pile of clothing. They sit there for me to pick up and wear without knowing they are dirty. If he goes for another run in the next few days (doubtful *chuckle*) then he will pick them up again, wear them again and then put them back again… For the third time… again?... (I am very cautious not to wear those shorts anymore, I never know if they are clean or not!)

There was a Basketball t-shirt and hooded top he said he liked… The top has been missing since he left for America (Coincidently of course!), since then I have been forced to safeguard the T-shirt! Damn, I liked that top…

A fleece has also gone missing after my brother borrowed it and also many, many socks… (So maybe that’s where the socks have got too!)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Missing Sock, Reward

So many socks go missing in my household. Never pairs of socks! No, I find myself with “pairs” and “pairs” of mismatched socks. I often find myself saying “Well, they are both primary colours… and they are both socks… so they will have to do!”

I definitely need some new socks; I think I’ll go for a sock hunt around the house sometime. (Behind the behind my computer, in the bushes outside, on the roof, in my pocket, in my last hotel I stayed in. You know... the places you least expect right?)

Spare odd socks? Give me a shout; I’m due a few... Who cares if the are odd?

(Tell me if you read this, let me know what you think:)

Monday, August 31, 2009

Day off: Guitar, Blues, Mini Bike stunts and the Edinburgh festival.

Well, my weekend is over and I am back at school as usual but as promised, I spent a day off my laptop. I was in fact I was off for longer than that, over 48 hours in total :) *Impressive I know :P* So ye, I was last online Saturday morning and didn’t make a post, which means I haven’t posted much at all this last week, so I am up for the challenge of creating some good content over this next week!

Anyway, Saturday was a good day, almost entirely without the laptop. I went into Edinburgh, went to the Edinburgh festival, hung out with friends and went to the movies.

Now the Edinburgh festival is awesome. I saw all sorts; I had a few hours before I met my friends, so I wandered about watching street performers. It was great fun, I saw guys on miniature bicycle doing tricks (miniature, miniature, miniature!), a guy playing rocking solos on the ukulele, I saw juggling (Fire, juggling balls, knifes, you know the drill!), Diabolo, a guy lying on a bed of glass and awesome blues playing.

A few pictures of what I saw (and heard for that matter)

Ukulele solo!

It’s annoying because I would have taken more pictures and a longer video but I still have to upload my pictures from Australia so my camera is pretty full! What is even more annoying is that I actually managed to leave my camera complete with the case in the cinema. Thank-fully *Thank-you!* my brother went in the next day and claimed it. *Legend* (It seems siblings aren’t so bad after all!)

Anyway, the majority of the afternoon was me listening to “Richard Blues” playing his blues guitar on the royal mile. He is so good and so entertaining; I gave him £12 of my own money (£10 of it on his CD which is awesome by the way!). Awesome guitarist and awesome entertainer! (Video coming soon)

He was funny; he taught the small children who had never heard blues that it was like the first time you dropped your ice cream on the floor. He went on later to describe his audience as he played, “The pretty lady with the blue stripy top thing and the white leggings things and blue shoes!” He went on to describe me, (I was wearing my “Cowboy” Kangaroo hat so I stuck out like a sore thumb) he said,

“This guy may only be young, but I have seen him with five different women today!”

I was like “What can I say, no denying it!” *Shrugs*

This guitarist is a great, I have his CD and love it and I could listen to him for hours. (I did on Saturday!)

On the way home I stopped at a fish and chip shop. They do soup so I asked for soup. It came, (in a tub) by itself with a roll. I asked if I could have a spoon. They rolled there eyes as if to say, “*Sigh* Why does this always happen, why does a spoon come in handy whilst having soup?”

They gave me a fork. You do not know how hard it is to eat soup with a fork and either do they! They could have at least provided some sporks, it would have been easier.

I was playing basketball on Sunday, so much for resting eh! I did rest from being on the computer though. I came home with a thumping headache; I tried to convince my mom that it was because my eyes hadn’t adjusted to not being in front of a computer screen. Other than that nothing interesting really happened on Sunday. If you play basketball then you’ll be interested to know I dunked the Ball on ten foot. (Me the fourteen year old at just under 6”2).

Although one interesting thing happened, we were waiting for a bus and we went into McDonalds. A guy comes into McDonalds with a mop handle and starts pretending to mop the floor. He asks “See if I mop the floor right, do I get free meals...?... Come on, it’s my own mop!” *He leaves*
He wasn’t serious but that was so funny it may have just been the highlight of my non-computing day!

And so you know, I was busy so wasn’t thinking about the computer that much but when I went back on I had forty five e-mails and a tonne of stuff to do! I look forward to next Sunday although I may not make a post about it, I’ll wait and see!

"Just Some girl" took a day off too!

Danny took a day off too!

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Take a break, take a day off your computer!

Ok, I like blogging, I like surfing the net and I like computers in general! I reckon I am probably on this thing to much though. I do not know how I manage it but I pretty much waste hours doing nothing! I need to try and cut back on the amount of nothing I do online, which sounds ridiculous but it happens every time I go on the computer. Sometimes I spend… six hours on the computer if I’m not at school and these six hours are about the length of my school day! Plus if it rains, there is nothing else to do so I spend ages online! (Unfortunately when winter comes around we always expect a lot of rain and a lot of cold!) Going on the computer is a daily exercise, even if I do not write a blog post.

So, I have decided to take a day off, one day off this week, then every week! I’ll have my day off and then the next day I’ll write about it. Why not? I’m sure it will create a potential blog post from a different angle.

I challenge you to do the same, spend a day off the computer then write a blog post about it. If you are on the computer daily and for a long time you have even more reason to take the challenge or possibly you have a mild writers block, you’ll get a whole day to think to yourself and a whole day to write about! Leave the URL in the comment section if you have made a post on the subject and I’ll place a link to your post at the bottom of mine after my day off.

I’ve chosen this Sunday as my day off; after all it is the “day of rest” so I am going to take a rest! Have your day off a day or two before or after Sunday and I’ll link back to you.

(In case you’re wondering I was inspired to write about this when I actually had a dream I was checking my e-mails, I mean c’mon, I must be due a break!)

Happy blogging!

(Here is a humorous post which asks “Living online. Is it bad? Is it?” which carries on what i was getting at :)

Monday, August 24, 2009

The problem with siblings: They eat all my food! (Namely the "Sugar puff incident" :O)

Ok, my first problem with siblings: They eat all my food! (Namely the "Sugar puff incident" :O)

When I have no siblings at home we just have enough to feed the three of us. Although when brothers and sisters come home... things start to disappear.

For example, the last biscuit which I hid at the back of the cupboard and the pack of crisps I was going to finish this evening. Eventually it turns nasty... and they eat the last bowl of my favourite cereal! :O

Like me the eat cereal at supper time… anything, anytime, whenever you are hungry!

One incident which happened only a few weeks ago, "The sugar puff incident" is particularly memorable.

It started with my mum checking how much milk we had left in the fridge, and there was enough for us all to have some with our cereal.

So the next morning comes round, I pour the cereal into the bowl. Go into the fridge only to find there is no milk! *Shock, HORROR!*

I find out my brother has drank it all the night before! (Or almost all of it) So here I am me eating my two bowls of sugar puffs without any milk! That was a nuisance but I shouldn't complain because I found out, that sugar puffs actually taste awesome without milk! (Even better with it though!) Plus I shouldn't complain because it's just a worthless nothing nuisance!... Hey, I should coin that!

Friday, August 21, 2009

What is the problem with Siblings?

I have three siblings, two brothers and a sister. I’m the youngest (and tallest!) at fourteen and they are all significantly older and “grown up” (You could say that). They are engaging in further education and travels. Travels to places all over the world, including America, Ireland, Spain, France, Ghana, Italy, Peru, South Korea and China (in a weeks time). I plan to follow in their footsteps, or footprints, carbon footprints unfortunately, by flying all over the world like a crazy fella. (Travel blog in order!)

Anyway, I have been living as an “only child” on and off (If it is possible to be an only child on and off) and I’ve been enjoying it! Having them home is better but after being the only child for a while you notice big differences when they come home, big nuisances!

Here are but a few that I care to mention which I think might make for reasonable posts in a short series of posts titled “What is the problem with siblings?” Check ‘em out then post what you think down below in the comment section (Appreciated all you loyal followers :) and pop over to the poll on the sidebar because I’m interested to know which sound the most interesting! Plus I may not use them all.

(Feel free to *Tut after each one ;)

What is the problem with siblings?

They eat my food! (Namely “The sugar puff incident” :O)

They sprawl themselves over the best seat in the house!

They steal particularly “Cool” items of my clothing. (My brothers)

They do not comment on my blog! (Maybe this will inspire them!)

They walk around the house half naked. (My brothers)

Walk around the house singing out of tune (I’m such a hypocrite ;)



Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Ever only just missed a train? Ever only just caught a train?

Well, yesterday I had to run for my train, like really sprint! The train after the one we were aiming to catch was an hour later, so we really needed to make it, we really ran! We were catching the train to get home and if we missed the train we were trying to catch we would be home much later than I’m comfortable with. Considering today was the first day back at school after the holidays and more importantly, I was hungry!

We had to get there quickly because we didn't have much time to spare and i managed to get there with fifteen minutes to spare. Although one of the four of us decided not to take the overpass over the road (which leads straight to the train station) and crossed the road. He couldn't find the station (Even though he was right next to the rails, *Just follow the rails! You'll get to one eventually!) and had wandered far enough that he couldn't find his way back to the overpass!

Anyway, the other three of us were at the station, logically positioned at the opposite side we arrived at and we were totally confu*ddled because there wasn't a single train stopping at our stop. That was partly my fault because i looked up the train times and didn't realise it involved going in the other direction from the home station (which means from the opposite platform we were standing at) to change and hop on another train and then head back to home.

We worked this out whilst the train we needed to catch was in the station! Despite the fact we were ready to run at this stage we were still one man down. I recommended we leave, because after all I was so worried about being tired for my first day back at school and I wanted to get back early! *Cough* I *Cough* Was *Cough* Hungry *Cough*

Then, the missing friend walks around the corner "Hey Guys"
We point at the train and shout "That's our train!"

We sprint down under the underpass (Is that the word?), past the entrance to the other platform... Run back as fast as we can, up the ramp and onto the platform. The guy is about to close the doors but realises that we are running to get on. So we made it! Only just... It's exhilarating and great fun but it sure wouldn't have been if he hadn't made it in time!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

The book I’m reading – 1984 by George Orwell

The book I’m reading – 1984

I’m not reviewing this book; just making a short post about me reading it.
Well, let us start at the best place to start which will be the start… (This is not the end, read on, this is the start, just so you know!)

It started with a book we have to read for our English class, this book, is 1984 by George Orwell and seems like a great book. A bit dull for some in the class, but not I, I reckon it’s a pretty good book. I reckon it’s a pretty EPIC book.

Anyway, I soared ahead of the majority of the class, reaching approximately page 216 after two weeks. Then it was the holidays and I was away for three weeks in Australia! (EPIC) I have been home from that for about three weeks now and have made it to page 219. I’ve read 3 pages, in 3 weeks. In fact probably closer to two pages and a half I admit. (EPIC FAIL)

As it happens I finished before the holidays at a really particularly dull part of the book. The section goes from about page 192 to page 226. I managed to bore my self whilst trawling through that section a page a week…and still have someway to go. To make things worse, I go back to school on Wednesday, only three nights from now. So, that means I have about… *works it out* …100 pages to go in three nights!

I can’t be bothered reading it tonight, I doubt I’ll come around to reading it tomorrow and so I fear come Tuesday night I will have forgotten about it and will be up all night reading it. Thrilling! Mark my words, I’ll have a day to read a third of the book. (Unless the whole internet crashes tomorrow but I don’t see that happening.) (EPIC CATASTROPHE)


Saturday, August 15, 2009

Pet peeve

A certain pet peeve of mine is people leaving the room to take a call and then talking really loud into the phone. I can just imagine the other person talking loudly on the other end of the phone and so you need to have the phone further away from your face. Thus you aren’t hearing a really loud telephone conversation but everyone else around you is hearing half of one!

Here is the situation,
*Phone rings* “Sorry I’ve got to take this”
*Leaves room*
You hear them from behind the door
We can still bloody hear you!
*Re-enters room* “She hung up on me...”
We know Dammit, we heard the whole thing!

Questions, Questions, Questions...

Happy as Barry - it is more unique than Larry. :)
Current thought feelings
I have a comfortable bed - other than that you know... Echo...Echo...Echo...........Echo.
Last movie
GI:JOE, the lame scenes are so incredibly lame! So bad in fact it's funny.
Last song
The only thing that looks good on me is youBryan Adams (Love it!)
Word of the week
"Have you been practising… GEEEEE-TAR?"... "Gee...eeeetar?
Random question (through blogger)
You have to dig a hole to China. Where do you start?
My garden, equipped with a compass and a map. * “Mom, I’ll be home for dinner!”
Current location(as you type)
Last meal
Macaroni pie x2
New weekly ambition
Live for ever… So far so good!
Holiday you would have loved to do this week
America - That is where my brother is at now.
What are you wearing right now?
Basketball shorts and a orange T-Shirt… stylish ;)
Name of first child (new name weekly)
Closest thing to you that is a radioactive kind of glowing orange(change colour weekly)
"Nothing in my room…My dad keeps some in the study though, I could bring it up and show you... No?... Ok"
Any X-rays you’ve had?
On my teeth and my leg at some stage.
Have you ever bitten your toenails?
Yes… It is extremely akward... but if there is a will there is a way.. eh!?
Ever laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by?
Yes, only a few days ago…
Laughed till some kind of beverage came out of your nose?
Yes, who hasn’t?
When you looked at yourself in the mirror today, what was the first thing you thought?
Do you judge people solely by their musical preferences?
Sometimes, for example If you like the Jonas brothers and you’re a guy. You’re a homosexual.
Are you Right-handed or Left-handed?
Left. Everything else I do right handed. And I type with both :O
How many pillows do you sleep with?
What kind of car were you driving 10 years ago?
A mini batomobile, for 6-10 year olds. I was a big four year old :)

Friday, August 14, 2009

Quote of the day

Someone I know said,

"I hate being blonde, all the flies think i'm a flower!"

Thursday, August 13, 2009

The extremely inhumane, humane mouse trap!

My brother shares a flat with a few mates and quite recently has had a problem with mice. So, they needed to buy a mouse trap. The decision was to buy a humane mouse trap, which of course means no mice are harmed, killed or starved you know... no terrible things like that! They are caught, cannot escape then set free in someone else’s house… *Er… I mean the street… *cough

Anyway, so they set up this mouse trap and after trying and trying to catch the mice they failed. The humane mouse trap had failed... again and again. The mouse trap was banished to a cupboard where it would remain for months. Upon eventually going into this cupboard they were surprised to see the humane mouse trap, the bigger surprise was that the trap had caught a mouse… albeit it some time ago! A mouse “skeleton” was found in the trap. So the poor mouse had indeed starved to death. I suppose the humane mouse trap worked after all… sort of.

Monday, August 10, 2009

Followers blog roll

Here is an opportunity to get onto a blog roll on my sidebar titled - Followers blogs
An oppurtunity to repay my followers and provide them with a little bitty more exposure and traffic.

Simply post your blogs URL as a comment to this post and I'll put it up (Unless I'm restricted by the number of URLs I'm given.)

It is titled Followers blogs so this blog will be exclusively for my followers and subscribers. Feel free to start following and then post you blogs URL here.

Looking forward to an impressive list :)

The fourteen year old blogger

***Please note, soon i will be starting another blog roll on this page for other blogs, so if you do not wish to subscribe leave your blog none the less and you may get on this one but places will be a lot more limited since i already have blogs in mind.

Dairy of a semi-retired Paperboy

I am a former “full time” paper boy, e.g. I delivered papers to peoples houses before school six days a week. A few months back I quit, since then I have just been covering people when they go on holiday… anything for a quick buck :) Although now I have started again, this time I’m only delivering on Sundays, I’m glad I play sport and have been going to the gym, otherwise this bag full of newspapers would have broken me in two!

Anyway, on to the interesting part of this post, right now I would like to highlight the queerness of the women who owns the newsagents. She has a few strange personality traits (To say the least.) Last night I heard about something she had recently said to a guy I know when he told her he was quitting, she replied “That’s ok, you were rubbish anyway!” now, if that’s not a strange thing to a fourteen year old as he quits his paper round… then I don’t know what is! Talk about being harsh on paper boys!

I reckon paperboys are under-paid, under-respected and under-slept (or simply tired). I’m telling you, it is a form of child labour. I mean, I was working 6 hours a week for 16 pounds a week, do the math!

Anyway, back to under-respected paperboys, it’s funny because she calls this guy rubbish… while she does a poor job herself, at least on the “provide paperboys with correct newspapers” part of the job! She gave me the wrong papers, or missed out papers on a daily basis, Resulting effect -

Customer phones shop – newsagent women moans – I acknowledge my mistake or challenge her and cannot reply to here blunt reply of a “I didn't do it!”.


Customer doesn’t receive newspaper – Customers astounds me with the number of Decibels they achieve shouting at me.

The latter happened just the once but it was upsetting because she disregards the fact that I am waking up at 6:30am to go out into temperatures below freezing (It was Scottish winter at the time) to deliver a paper to here door whilst depriving myself of sleep. *Fun, Fun!

Now, I am more confident and willing to stand up for myself, and If it happens again I will give this woman a piece of my mind… one BIG piece! (I could provide you with her address but that would be to cruel)
I saw her again a while later and gave her my cheeriest “good morning”, her response was more of a primitive grunt from her caveman face.

I have another very memorable rather unpleasant paperboy experience, it start with me getting up and feeling Ill, I had the flu (Before swine flu, it is ok!). I thought I could manage the paper round but upon arriving at the newsagents, only then I realized I wasn’t fit to deliver them. I told the newsagents owner that I was going to give the papers a miss. She replied
“Well, the papers aren’t going to deliver themselves”
I was like
“You what!?”

Damn it! I wish the papers could deliver themselves, with every car that passed I belched… a bus passed, and that did it, sickness spewed over the pavement. Surprisingly after going home and cleaned myself up I felt better and went out and delivered the rest of the papers. This was the “lull before the storm” so to say, after delivering the papers the storm came… a big storm! I didn’t tell the woman at the newsagents I had been sick after she sent me out to deliver papers… if I had she may have replied “As long as you got the job done” or maybe the guilt trip would do her good, if there was going to be one.

Anyway, here is me hoping she doesn’t find this, otherwise I’d be “out of work” like so many other people right now, but at least I’d be able to slap her with the stamp on my hand that reads, “You’ve been slapped!” (See my last Questions, Questions, Questions post in case you have no idea what I’m talking about.)

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Questions Questions, Questions

Current thoughts or feelings
N/A, there isn’t any.
Last movie
Land of the lost, which just so you know, sucks.
Last song
Superman- Lazlo Bane, the scrubs theme song.
Word of the weekBold
Hello- Interesting, huh?
(Random question through blogger) Your hand has been replaced by a rubber stamp. What does it say?
You’ve been slapped *Dips hand in ink and slaps people.
Current location (as you type)
Last meal
Cheese and bread (A gourmet in some countries named- The Sandwich)
Weekly ambition
Become a secret agent. *Do not share this information because one day… it may become top secret!
Holiday destination you would have loved to visit this week
Germany (I speak some German:).
What are you wearing right now?
Voi jeans and a topman polo shirt.
Name of first child (new name weekly)
Colin Junior (The one week old blogger)
Closest thing to you that is Red (Change colour weekly)
Duplo pieces…
Last time you had a Krispy Kreme doughnut?
Sydney international airport, it was also my first Krispy kreme doughnut.
Do you play air guitar?
Only on lonely Friday nights :P
What's the most you have spent for a haircut?
Toughie this one… usually spend about £8, once every six months :P
The most was probably when my mum took me to her mens/ladies hairdressers… it was 20 pounds or something!
What did you dream about last night?
If your friends and acquaintances were willing to bluntly tell you what they really think of you, would you want them to? Why or why not.
Goodness no! It would make everyone else look like they have rubbish friends!

Friday, August 7, 2009

My Midnight wander, Stars and Constellations (or lack there of)

Whilst wandering I would have liked to enjoy the night sky but didn't. I did enjoy the wander overall, and it was quiet enough for me to walk down the middle of the road (which made me feel like a total badass ;) but it was missing something, something which stretches solar systems and whole galaxies beyond our furthest imagination (and telescopes) Yes, the mysterious constellations which are miles away, nay hundreds of miles… In fact… millions of miles away, most of which aren’t visible by eye or by telescope! Only a tiny amount of them we can see.

Sometimes I can see stars and constellations of stars from my garden on a clear night but that night, not even a star, not even a peanut! The thing is there is too many lights (Too much light pollution), mainly street lights in Scotland cast a very depressing glow over the occupants, which I’m convinced is the key to our high suicide rates I heard about on the news last night, otherwise it’s the slow internet connections we put up with.

Anyway, for one slim moment I thought I saw a star, which was a “wow” moment but it moved and flashed and was only a plane. (Oh well.)

Coincidentally the song I was listening to at the time, Yellow by Coldplay has fitting lyrics-

"Look at the stars,
Look at how they shine for you"

Which prompted me to think- “Oh, look, the stars aren’t shining for you… I’m sorry but you are not a very special person…Goodbye” which I find funny because the song is of course portraying the opposite thing…

Also, another coincidence, which I just noticed then, is that one of Coldplay’s members comes from near where I live, so maybe the lack of stars here prompted them to write this song?


The fourteen year old blogger

(For a link to a blog talking about Light pollution more seriously check this out-

Thursday, August 6, 2009

What should Harry Potter have done?

What should Harry Potter of done?

I remember a scene from the very first Harry Potter ( Harry Potter and the Philosophers stone), where Hagrid comes to find him near the beginning and Harry just goes along with him. Almost no questions asked. (The scene where Harrys uncle has a shotgun. I’ve thought of a couple of different scenarios that could have happened, should of happened and would have made for a much more realistic film. ;)

As Hagrid walk in here is what Harry does or says-

Angry Harry- “Where the f*** have you been? I have been waiting almost ten years for this!”

Smoker Harry - *Cough*Cough

Confused Harry- “…Where am I?...”

Confused Harry- “…Who am I?...”

Armed Harry- Pulls out gun “Back the f*** up before I kick you in your bitch-ass chin!”

Gay Harry- “Yay, magic… I’m a magician…*Poof”

Pessimistic Harry- “Voldemort will only rise again and kill us all anyway, what is the point?”

Neutral Harry – “Don’t mind”

Weed grower Harry – “What are the Herbology departments facilities like?

Gaylord Harry – “There is only room for one Gay in this wizarding community, we cannot be gay whilst the other is gay, Gaylord Voldemort must die!”

Mute Harry-

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Coming up

Tonight for a laugh, What should Harry Potter of done?
(Tonight is British time, it is morning here right now)

This Saturday, another quiz I'll post here (See past post). Choosing some different questions this time and of course different answers. Otherwise it would be pointless, you knew that.

If you have any questions you think i should answer, e-mail me at or post here. (but that ruins other readers suprise) It doesn't matter if the questions are ridiculous, silly, funny or serious. (Serious only if you really must :)

See you then :)

Monday, August 3, 2009

Long way or not even long enough to warrant a search for your iPod?

Ever been on a long trip or maybe a journey you just think is a long way!

Well how long was this journey actually, forty five minutes, one hour, five hours or twenty hours?

I was going on a 45 minutes car drive with a friend today and yesterday he said, “You should take an iPod or something because it could get pretty boring.”

This made me think, because 45 minutes away isn’t a long way. I remember taking the car on hour and a half drives to Glasgow and that used to seem like a long way or even a three hour trip to places in England which used to be unbearable, although in reality, it isn’t a long way unless you do it daily. My Aunt commutes daily into Sydney; this takes two hours to get there and two hours to get back. Now that sounds like long way, but only since she does it every single day! Surely forty five minutes isn’t to be considered a long way, in my opinion it's not long enough to warrant searching for my iPod for entertainment!? 45 minutes isn’t long!

After being on holiday for three weeks in Australia and having to cover great distances I don’t know what a long way is anymore, a few hours in a car, thirty minutes in a boat or maybe eight hours in a slow moving train? Although one thing is for sure, twenty three hours in a plane (Britain to Australia) is a long, long way! Imagine that for a second or for 82,800 seconds if you wish to experience the entire journey. Trust me, 82,800 seconds in a plane is boring and no fun, especially if you are 6”2 and have long legs.

Anyway, this country is small, so most long journeys (Actual long ones) tend to leave the country. If I wanted I could be out the country by midnight tonight. I could say tomorrow, “Well, I feel like leaving the country this morning and coming back tonight for dinner.” And I could do it and all by car too! With enough time remaining between for a few cups of English breakfast tea and some Lancashire Hot Pot, plus a few hours twiddling my thumbs.

Anyway, what do you guys consider a long journey?


What's been said today?

"We were arguing about whether to get cheese for our crackers or

Yep, this deserves a good chuckle to oneself.

Chinese friend and his mom are speaking in Cantonese, he asks

"Did that sounds like an argument?"

I reply "Yes"

He replies "We were arguing about whether to get cheese for our crackers or not"

I then cannot reply. *Laughs to much

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Internet tools and their non internet equivalents.

Internet toolNon internet equivalent - A journal

BBC news - BBC 1

YouTube - The good old VCR

Email - The Royal mail or Fed Ex
Bebo, Facebook, MySpace – Meeting friends with photos, your VCR and something to talk about.

MSN - Tin cups and string

Chat rooms - Congregating with random people to chat.

Yahoo answers – My parents

Google reader - The library

Google maps – OS map - A dictionary

Google translator – German to English phrase book

Ragdoll avalancheFind our own avalanches in order to lose limbs until death.

Wow, life would sure suck without the internet!

I'm sitting on my sofa, my laptop on my lap, a box of cheese twists and an empty yogurt pot occupy the table next to me.

Trying to think of something to post about....


Any creative ideas from you guys?

No worries, I'll get something up tonight.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Pinball Dad, Pinballed Son

Whilst at a family member’s house I was stuck with no internet. I played solitaire for a while, but found I had no patience… so moved on to play 3D pinball. This started to get boring pretty quickly. Then my dad had a shot and beat my score. My Dad beat my score (My own dad!); I couldn’t stand for this, this is one of the things where you simply have to win!

So after a long time I managed to beat his original score, but he had already set an even better score which I have still to beat! Later on I find out my Dad was some kind of weird pinball addict, he went round arcades playing pinball. Not something you would find in my generation I don’t reckon… But anyway I battle on; I mean I can’t let my dad beat me at something on a computer!

(Despite the fun, i'm glad to have the internet back and have more than just Pinball to do on the laptop

Questions, Questions, Questions

Relaxed, chilled mood… I’m Chillaxing.
Current thought feelings?
Last movie?
I love you man (watched it on the plane from Australia) A good watch, even better if you are on a 23 hour plane journey with nothing else to do.
Last song?
Walk this way- Aerosmith ft. Run DMC (Not the other way round! (…For those less intelligent beings- Run DMC ft Aerosmith, No,No, No!))
Word of the week?
Bogin. The Australian equivalent of a Chav, Ned or hillbilly. Bogins!
Random question (through blogger)
The hair from your last haircut ... what would it say about your new style?
"Why, why o’ hairy one? I was much more smooth and shiny! Is it because I am old and fr-ayed?"
Current location(as you type)?
Front room
Last meal?
I have actually forgotten...Echo…Echo…Echo………….Echo.
This weeks ambition?
Become the first man on the moon… Jokes, of course man has been to the moon, I mean… who actually believes we haven’t?
Holiday you would have loved to do this week?
Australian holiday… *Sigh, that was last week.
What are you wearing right now?
Retro cords and some random blue shirt.
Name of first child?
Toolio… Very practical.
Closest thing to you that is yellow?
A rug with pictures of tractors on it…( it isn’t mine!)
Sprechen sie deutsches?
How tall are you?
6”1, 6”2
Thought about what people would say at your funeral?
Do you sing in the shower?
Why did you withdraw cash from the ATM the last time?
To lend money to a certain Phillip, but he didn’t spend it, so I got it back…(Yip Yip)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Nothing to lose - Movie review

I’m going to kick start this blog by giving the readers something to do. Readers go out and see this film, Nothing to Lose. It’s awesome, I mean I saw it whilst in Australia, and remember laughing so hard I had to pause the movie to get my breath back. Seriously it was almost a work out!

Martin Lawrence and Tim Robbins star in this 1997 comedy (Directed by Steve Oedekerk)as an unlikely partnership after Nick Beam(Tim Robbins) is convinced his wife is cheating on him with his boss. He then drives away in his car without a care in the world, when T.Paul (Martin Lawrence) jumps into Nicks car and tries to rob him he discovers Nick has …nothing to lose… he throws the wallet T.Paul was demanding out the window and drives at high speed out to the dessert. The mismatched pair reluctantly become friends and devise a scheme to get revenge on Nicks boss and solve T.Pauls money problems by robbing his company building. Which leads to my a hilarious scene, where as they are escaping the building they are forced to hide from a security guard, who then, thinking no one is watching him starts dancing the night away, leaving the thiefs waiting for hours. The guard is played by Steve Oedekerk, stand up comedian and director of the film. Steve Oedekerk completes that scene perfectly! Among other funny scenes there is the "Scatman" scene, a scene where they run into other criminals and basically every single scene in the film...

Ok, so maybe the plot isn’t great, but the acting of Martin Lawrence and Tim Robbins make up for it and more and I certainly recommend watching it!

If you read this and watch it, or have watched it before please leave some feedback on what you think. After all you have nothing to lose!