Monday, August 10, 2009

Dairy of a semi-retired Paperboy

I am a former “full time” paper boy, e.g. I delivered papers to peoples houses before school six days a week. A few months back I quit, since then I have just been covering people when they go on holiday… anything for a quick buck :) Although now I have started again, this time I’m only delivering on Sundays, I’m glad I play sport and have been going to the gym, otherwise this bag full of newspapers would have broken me in two!

Anyway, on to the interesting part of this post, right now I would like to highlight the queerness of the women who owns the newsagents. She has a few strange personality traits (To say the least.) Last night I heard about something she had recently said to a guy I know when he told her he was quitting, she replied “That’s ok, you were rubbish anyway!” now, if that’s not a strange thing to a fourteen year old as he quits his paper round… then I don’t know what is! Talk about being harsh on paper boys!

I reckon paperboys are under-paid, under-respected and under-slept (or simply tired). I’m telling you, it is a form of child labour. I mean, I was working 6 hours a week for 16 pounds a week, do the math!

Anyway, back to under-respected paperboys, it’s funny because she calls this guy rubbish… while she does a poor job herself, at least on the “provide paperboys with correct newspapers” part of the job! She gave me the wrong papers, or missed out papers on a daily basis, Resulting effect -

Customer phones shop – newsagent women moans – I acknowledge my mistake or challenge her and cannot reply to here blunt reply of a “I didn't do it!”.


Customer doesn’t receive newspaper – Customers astounds me with the number of Decibels they achieve shouting at me.

The latter happened just the once but it was upsetting because she disregards the fact that I am waking up at 6:30am to go out into temperatures below freezing (It was Scottish winter at the time) to deliver a paper to here door whilst depriving myself of sleep. *Fun, Fun!

Now, I am more confident and willing to stand up for myself, and If it happens again I will give this woman a piece of my mind… one BIG piece! (I could provide you with her address but that would be to cruel)
I saw her again a while later and gave her my cheeriest “good morning”, her response was more of a primitive grunt from her caveman face.

I have another very memorable rather unpleasant paperboy experience, it start with me getting up and feeling Ill, I had the flu (Before swine flu, it is ok!). I thought I could manage the paper round but upon arriving at the newsagents, only then I realized I wasn’t fit to deliver them. I told the newsagents owner that I was going to give the papers a miss. She replied
“Well, the papers aren’t going to deliver themselves”
I was like
“You what!?”

Damn it! I wish the papers could deliver themselves, with every car that passed I belched… a bus passed, and that did it, sickness spewed over the pavement. Surprisingly after going home and cleaned myself up I felt better and went out and delivered the rest of the papers. This was the “lull before the storm” so to say, after delivering the papers the storm came… a big storm! I didn’t tell the woman at the newsagents I had been sick after she sent me out to deliver papers… if I had she may have replied “As long as you got the job done” or maybe the guilt trip would do her good, if there was going to be one.

Anyway, here is me hoping she doesn’t find this, otherwise I’d be “out of work” like so many other people right now, but at least I’d be able to slap her with the stamp on my hand that reads, “You’ve been slapped!” (See my last Questions, Questions, Questions post in case you have no idea what I’m talking about.)


Teddie Ann said...

I've always thought the job of a paper delivery person looked really hard. I used to have a game (like 15 years ago, on one of the first game systems, I can't recall which) and it was called Paperboy. In the game you'd skateboard down the street (moving quicker with each level) and aim the papers at the houses door steps; the closer to the door the more points.

Printed papers are slowly all shutting down due to the new much more simplistic way we get news: the Internet. It's also a waste of trees. Reading the news on the net is just all around more practical.

So, yeah, all the papers will eventually deliver themselves. lol

Colin said...

A guy i know has about two of every known console i have played that game on one of his consoles! It is harder in real life!

"So, yeah, all the papers will eventually deliver themselves. lol" That will be the day we no longer need paperboys :P

Colin said...

And thanks for the comment :)

Kyrie said...

A paperboy used to deliver for my neighborhood.

...but that was about ten years ago? :o Lol.

And if she does happen to find about your blog, o.o I'll vouch for you and say I forced you to talk badly about her xD

You are fairly good at writing for your age. Keep it up :)

Colin said...

Thank-you :)

plentymorefishoutofwater said...

Nice work. I'm glad I chose bottle boy at a local pub instead...

Colin said...

Bottle boy :) Sounds fun in comparison :D

MillyMollyMandy said...

Lol, I was a paper girl for about 2 years but only did Sundays and cover. NEVER AGAIN. The guy that ran the shop wasn't too bad though. But I was late a lot... I like my bed :P But there was this one morning when I was ACTUALLY on time, and he burst out laughing when I walked in the door. I asked him why and it turned it out was the day the clocks changed and I was an HOUR early. Wasnae chuffed likes :P

Colin said...

Yes, i was never one to be on time and looking back I would have certainly picked my bed rather than the paperound!

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