Thursday, October 29, 2009

Eighteen plus how many years?

Ok, we all like eating out every now and again. Recently though I have discovered a problem.

Well, the first time it happened and I’m in a restaurant and I have a foreign waiter. Firstly we order the drinks. Me, I go for Ginger beer (Which is usually non-alcoholic.) Then the foreign waiter comes back asks “Is this suitable sir?” as he is holding an Alcoholic Ginger Beer, 5.5% alcohol. I turn it down because I’m with my mom and tell him I’m not old enough to buy alcohol. So, he comes back and gives me a children’s menu. I’m thinking I haven’t been given one of these since I was five years old and so I’m left wondering where this guy comes from and asking myself…how old you need to be to buy alcohol in that country!?

So, after having recovered from the embarrassment of being given a children’s menu we go back to this restaurant. I ask for the Ginger Beer. The waiter brings the Alcoholic stuff.

Asks if I want it…

I respond…

“I’m really tempted but a few years ago I used to be a bit of an alcoholic. SOoo… I’ll have to decline.”

I realize this one isn’t a foreign waiter and I watch as he walks away doing the math in his head… Probably wondering “Eighteen plus… how many years?”

Well, one thing is for sure, I didn’t get no children’s menu that time!

Thursday, October 15, 2009

The problem with being tall : Head banging - Banging of ones head.

You don’t need to like heavy Rock’ n Roll to be a “head banger”. In fact I’m a head banger. In fact I bang my head far too much! I’d say that is the worst thing about being tall. (I’m 6 ft 2)
Public transport’s worst for it; low ceilings or low shelves above where you sit so that every time you stand up you –

A - Bang you head which usually hurts.
Followed by
B – You look like a big lanky twat
Followed by
C – You swear loudly and the mother with kids behind you get Pis***

the OAPs behind you get Pis***
the small people behind you get Pis***

Earlier this week I stayed at a youth hostel for a couple of nights, much to my dismay they gave us a room aptly named “The Hobbit Room”. Its door (with the hobbit style round finish) was low enough for me to give the top of the door frame a high five with my head. Funnily enough the room had one bed which was raised a few feet off the ground and would require a hobbit to find a stepladder. (See “The Lord of the Rings” or “The Hobbit” for reference (Reference to hobbits not stepladders)).

Quite recently I read that when you are over 6ft 2 you start to get back problems. So here I am hoping I don’t grow an inch further because otherwise I’ll get back problems and brain damage… I’d clip my head off every single door.

I’m happy with this post. Thank-you for reading/ Skipping everything except the last sentence (I do that with dull posts sometimes… not that my post is dull ;)

Feedback? I liked this post. Did you?

Sunday, October 11, 2009

To busy for blogging - Not really, Poker took over.

I’ve not written a post in ages… like ten days!

Now, maybe it’s just me but I for one get fed up of long winded explanations as to why there was no posts for so long… *Hate them… *Just hate them…

Here is mine in case (for some strange reason) you are interested-

Well, that’s the thing right, I could say I spent the whole week at school and the rest of the time practising 3D pinball so I could beat my dad (Long story) but it wouldn’t be true... but I do have an interesting spin to the story, there was a whole week at school and for the rest of the time, I was addicted to online poker.

Yep, I gamble and I’m fifteen years old… *Shocking isn’t it?* Well, don’t worry. It is only on Facebook but it is strangely addictive. I made lots of “Money” throughout the week but then managed to lose 90% of it in 30 seconds. The following 20% in the following 35 seconds…

Anyway, I’m back now which is the main thing albeit I'm typing a lot slower since I sold my right arm to pay off my new debts… (Don’t let this stop you playing free family freindly poker on Facebook)

That is not my excuse for saying from now on I will only be posting two or three times a week. That is the case though, two or three time a week. (I sense two). You'll be glad to know it’s pure laziness.

Anyway, I’ll brainstorm some new ideas and be back in a couple of days. (I hope)

Thursday, October 1, 2009

A swearing chef burns Fairy cakes... *Shocker*

A general statement – “All Chefs swear”

I worked for a week in a kitchen, the guy I was working with was a nice guy. He was a chef. “All Chefs swear”. This guy swore, a lot.

It wasn’t quite Gordon Ramsay style, it was a kind of “When you make a mistake you swear” kind of swearing. For example he swore when he burnt his batch of fairy cakes. (I’d like to point out I saved my batch ;) It was the kind of swearing that was almost… how to say it… necessary. I mean, that was a good batch of fairy cakes!